Essay " Gain and Loss"

Yanyuan Chen (Yvonne)

ESL100

Lost in translation final draft

Gain and Loss

       There is an old Chinese saying that is “One cannot make an omelet without breaking eggs”. I came to the United States to reunite with my husband, but on the other hand I have lost many things. The feeling of loss has become strongest during the Spring Festival. For me, the Spring Festival only represents a holiday, delicious food and a journey. However, I used to think it was a very boring day because I always did the same thing every year. After I came to the United States, the meaning of the Spring Festival changed. Now it is a time of family reunion, and it brings me deep yearning. Now I am in the U.S and the Spring Festival is a familiar and strange day for me in my new environment.

       The first part of the Spring Festival that I lost is joyful atmosphere in the United States. In China, on the day of the Spring Festival, my family would have a big dinner with family members, and each family member would return home no matter where they are. After dinner, family members would watch the Spring Festival Gala on TV and stay up late together. Every year the elders always like to ask the younger generation some questions, such as “When will you get married?” “How are your study grades?” “How about your work?” I used to hate these questions because I had been asked these questions every year. Now I really miss them, because no one asks me these questions any more. In the United States, the Spring Festival is a normal day. My husband and friends go to work as usual, and we even don’t have time to have dinner together. The first Spring Festival in the U.S for me, just represented loneliness.

         In China, a series of colorful celebration activities begin on the first day after the Spring Festival, but now they are no longer a part of my life. I lost the reunions with my family and friends. I feel I am no longer one of them. In the previous years during the Spring Festival holiday, I always began to visit all the relatives and friends. Most of them could only meet during the Spring Festival holiday because they worked in different places, so I really cherished the time that I spent with them. We chatted with each other all night and shared everything that happened in the past year. I also took a short journey with my friends because we had a long weekend during the Spring Festival. However, now I can only contact them by phone, Wechat and vi deo. Even though I began to make some new friends, I feel it is difficult to talk with American friends because my English is poor. Consequently, even though I have many new friends now, I really miss my old friends in China, especially during this holiday.

       In addition to my friends and the atmosphere, I feel that my traditional belief makes my yearning stronger. In my hometown Fujian, there are many temples. During the Spring Festival, many people burn incense and pray in the temple. People wish that each family member could have a health body and could work smoothly in the New Year. In the previous years, I went to the temple with my mother, and we prayed for our families and friends. Now I am living in Chinatown, and even though there are many churches, I can’t find a Buddhist temple. I feel deeply frustrated.

What are slowly disappearing from me is all the special things of Spring Festival? Relatives, friends, and beliefs are what I cherished, but all of them are out of reach for me now. Everything in my life is changing every day. For me, the most important thing is to adapt and accept every different thing in my new world. The 2015 Chinese New Year is coming soon. I am looking forward to change and looking for more joyfulness of the Second Spring Festival in my new life.