Forced to Be Alone----Mia/Yiyao Liu

Forced to Be Alone

People who were born in other countries may hardly imagine there was a strict limitation of having children somewhere else in the world. However, it existed indeed. From 1948 to 1976, China’s government was encouraging families to have as many children as possible because the country’s leader, Mao Zedong, believed that population growth could empower the country. It directly led to a dramatic increase of population. However, beginning in 1979, to control the population growth, China officially started adopting the one-child policy, which said that each couple could only have one child, or they would be fined an incredible amount of money for the extra children. Fortunately, in recent years, the policy has gradually changed. Some couples in which one parent is an only child are allowed to have a second child, or some couples that had their first child as a daughter are permitted to have a second child also. However, it is somewhat unbelievable that I am not an only child while I was born during that one-child period, and I was much lonelier than the other regular only children since I grew up alone. The one-child policy certainly affected my childhood, and it still affects my family and me even nowadays.

I was a rather good child with great grades and many prizes in school, but it did not mean that I could be free during the rest time. In fact, I needed to do a lot of housework and had many responsibilities for my family. It was all because of my only child identity. There were six adults in my big Chinese family, which are my grandparents from my mom’s side, my grandparents from my dad’s side, and my parents. It is common knowledge that Chinese parents always expect too much from their children, and I experienced considerable pressure each day. I had to study hard in school, get perfect grades on my reports, and I had to do cleaning and clothes sorting at home. All of these things made me tired and out of energy, but I could not stop doing these things while there were six pairs of eyes looking at me. Sometimes other relatives might come to my home on festival days, and they just told me to be obedient to my family. To be honest, I really hate these kinds of Chinese relatives! Moreover, I hate to be an only child because it led to these situations.

In addition, the one-child policy made millions of children grow up alone and feel lonely, including me. The matter was not only about homework and housework, but also about feelings and relationships. Children like me who grew up without any siblings could only play by themselves. Fortunately, I had a cousin that lived with me for several years, which made me feel a little bit better. After all, I had many interesting things, but nobody to share them with. In addition, it has been hard for only children to learn to make relationships with others. Because of the particular condition of childhood, I was used to doing things alone and thinking about things alone. I do not really like to discuss serious things with others unless it is necessary. Furthermore, it made me be much better at individual work than at group work. In general, it is sometimes not a good habit, and it is all due to the one-child policy.

The biggest influence of one-child policy for me has been my family’s immigration to the U.S.. The major problem with one-child policy was that Chinese people gradually had an obvious preference for having a son over having a daughter. Because my father is the only son of my grandparents, they strongly hoped my mother have a son to inherit our family name. While children in China can only inherit their father’s family name, I, as a girl, can hardly give my family name to my child in the future. Considering this situation, my parents decided to immigrate to the U.S. because children that are born overseas are allowed under this policy if they obtain other countries citizenship. This law led them to immigrate when I was ten, while I had to stay in China with my grandmother. However, without luck, they had three more daughters besides me in the U.S.. Although my parents finally gave up on having a son, they had settled in the U.S. for many years, so I had to give up my Chinese life and come here. Nowadays, I live with three sisters and my parents, and I have to adapt to the new life. Although it is not so bad for me, it is a huge influence of the one-child policy indeed.

I know there are some advantages of the one-child policy, but its disadvantages affected me much more than its advantages. I do not like the policy, which made me work hard in my childhood, made me feel lonely, and made me separate from my parents and live with my grandmother for so many years. It has affected me so much. Without the one-child policy, I might be an extremely different person living somewhere else. Without the one-child policy, I might have some other siblings in China. Without the one-child policy, I might have a brother who was born in China. However, we cannot change history or the one-child policy, which made me not being an only child but much lonelier than an only child.