Forced to Be Alone----Mia/Yiyao Liu

Forced to Be Alone

People who were born in other countries may hardly imagine there was a strict limitation of having children somewhere else in the world. However, it existed indeed. From 1948 to 1976, China’s government was encouraging families to have as many children as possible because the country’s leader, Mao Zedong, believed that population growth could empower the country. It directly led to a dramatic increase of population. However, beginning in 1979, to control the population growth, China officially started adopting the one-child policy, which said that each couple could only have one child, or they would be fined an incredible amount of money for the extra children. Fortunately, in recent years, the policy has gradually changed. Some couples in which one parent is an only child are allowed to have a second child, or some couples that had their first child as a daughter are permitted to have a second child also. However, it is somewhat unbelievable that I am not an only child while I was born during that one-child period, and I was much lonelier than the other regular only children since I grew up alone. The one-child policy certainly affected my childhood, and it still affects my family and me even nowadays.

I was a rather good child with great grades and many prizes in school, but it did not mean that I could be free during the rest time. In fact, I needed to do a lot of housework and had many responsibilities for my family. It was all because of my only child identity. There were six adults in my big Chinese family, which are my grandparents from my mom’s side, my grandparents from my dad’s side, and my parents. It is common knowledge that Chinese parents always expect too much from their children, and I experienced considerable pressure each day. I had to study hard in school, get perfect grades on my reports, and I had to do cleaning and clothes sorting at home. All of these things made me tired and out of energy, but I could not stop doing these things while there were six pairs of eyes looking at me. Sometimes other relatives might come to my home on festival days, and they just told me to be obedient to my family. To be honest, I really hate these kinds of Chinese relatives! Moreover, I hate to be an only child because it led to these situations.

In addition, the one-child policy made millions of children grow up alone and feel lonely, including me. The matter was not only about homework and housework, but also about feelings and relationships. Children like me who grew up without any siblings could only play by themselves. Fortunately, I had a cousin that lived with me for several years, which made me feel a little bit better. After all, I had many interesting things, but nobody to share them with. In addition, it has been hard for only children to learn to make relationships with others. Because of the particular condition of childhood, I was used to doing things alone and thinking about things alone. I do not really like to discuss serious things with others unless it is necessary. Furthermore, it made me be much better at individual work than at group work. In general, it is sometimes not a good habit, and it is all due to the one-child policy.

The biggest influence of one-child policy for me has been my family’s immigration to the U.S.. The major problem with one-child policy was that Chinese people gradually had an obvious preference for having a son over having a daughter. Because my father is the only son of my grandparents, they strongly hoped my mother have a son to inherit our family name. While children in China can only inherit their father’s family name, I, as a girl, can hardly give my family name to my child in the future. Considering this situation, my parents decided to immigrate to the U.S. because children that are born overseas are allowed under this policy if they obtain other countries citizenship. This law led them to immigrate when I was ten, while I had to stay in China with my grandmother. However, without luck, they had three more daughters besides me in the U.S.. Although my parents finally gave up on having a son, they had settled in the U.S. for many years, so I had to give up my Chinese life and come here. Nowadays, I live with three sisters and my parents, and I have to adapt to the new life. Although it is not so bad for me, it is a huge influence of the one-child policy indeed.

I know there are some advantages of the one-child policy, but its disadvantages affected me much more than its advantages. I do not like the policy, which made me work hard in my childhood, made me feel lonely, and made me separate from my parents and live with my grandmother for so many years. It has affected me so much. Without the one-child policy, I might be an extremely different person living somewhere else. Without the one-child policy, I might have some other siblings in China. Without the one-child policy, I might have a brother who was born in China. However, we cannot change history or the one-child policy, which made me not being an only child but much lonelier than an only child.

history essay

Leslie A. Mercedes Lopez

ESL 100

March 9, 2015

An account of the past

            There are many types of violence. One of the most common is domestic violence. Thirty years ago my grandmother married the love of her life. She thought everything was going to be magical like her mother told her, but it was not like that. Over time, things started to change, and her relationship became full of violence, verbal and physical. When my aunt was twenty-one years old, the oldest at that time, she decided to marry a United States citizen and bring my grandmother with her, so that she could get away from that terrible situation that was affecting the whole family. Everybody knows that marriage was made for love not to abuse others. As my grandmother came to the United States, her life started to change for good. There was nothing that could stop her from getting the best in this country of opportunities.

             Also, my grandmother’s bad experiences and difficulties made her immigrate to the United States for better opportunities and to recover from the violence. Leaving her family in the Dominican Republic was really hard for her, but it was the best decision she could ever make. My grandmother was a fighter. She would do anything she could to protect her family from everything. Immigrating to the United States helped her to overcome her frustrations and depression, and at the same time she became stronger and happier. I will be happy to as my mom about my grandmother’s past. My mom always told me, “Your grandmother was amazing. She became the happiest and strongest member of the family after that bad situation”. My mom’s tears came out in each word she tells me. It was as if she was in my grandmother’s body and she could feel all the happiness of finally being a free person without abuse. My mom also told me that my grandmother’s words were full of happiness and smiles. They were able to notice through her voice.

          Moreover, my grandmother had an opportunity to begin a new life and career in the United States without violence. As my grandmother started to get stronger, her economic situation started to improve. After three years of being here, she was finally able to create a small beauty business inside her house only for family and friends. Approximately after two more years, she was able to summit the immigration papers for her children, so they could be here with her in the United States and have better opportunities. My grandmother was a nice stylist. She started her beauty business doing her oldest daughter hair and nails and then with friends of the family. She was happy that she was sable to pay bills and buy food with the money she was making in her small business. The United States was really the country of success in her life. She got everything she needed and nothing could stop her from doing what she liked and enjoyed to do.

            Nevertheless, as she got older, my grandmother begin to lose her strength and will to live. This made things change again, because there was no way to help her. My grandmother started to get sick to the point that she was not able to stand up from her bed or do anything by herself. Problems with her heart, asthma, and diabetes started to surface. This was something that had a big impact on my family.  After all the members of the family started to create their own lives in different places, she started to get worse. The slow separation of her family was the reason of her sickness, because she brought her family to the United States to be together not for everybody to go alone on their lives and never came back to visit her. When she was finally very ill, everybody decided to come a visit. As a result of this, my family thought my grandmother was only waiting for them to come and visit her again so that she could rest in peace because after they came back, she died a week later. The way my grandmother used to act and face obstacles was admirable for the entire family.

            Her immigration to the United States, the difficulties of beginning a new life and overcoming the obstacles make her the woman my family and I will always remember. That woman fought for a better future not just for her, but for her family. My grandmother’s decisions were admirable and it is just awesome to know how a little bit of help changed her life completely and made her a better woman. It is inspiring to see how a woman can take out good things from a bad experience. There is nothing that can change the image of that fighting woman from my head. She will always be in my mind as the bravest person I have ever met.

cause and effect essay

                The Limitation of Births

I had always seen the saying “Fewer and healthier births benefits the country and the people” in my village when I was a kid. In the 1970s china, family planning became a huge reformation in the society that limited the number of births for women. At that time, women had to give birth to a boy, which means women had to get pregnant until they were pregnant with a boy. According to Chinese culture, men were the only one of the family that passed down family name, and men were the leaders in the family. I can’t image how hard it was to be a woman in old China because women were worthless for men if they didn’t give birth to a boy. My mother was one of the many women who couldn’t flee from the family planning policy when she had her second pregnancy. Thus, the family planning law deeply influenced my mother’s whole life and my family.

Under the force of the government, my mother became an escaped woman that had to run from village to village. The government tried to arrest my mother for violating the law, so she had to escape about one week after she gave birth to me. Additionally, my family didn’t care about my mother because she didn’t have a baby boy. However, my mother couldn’t hide well without any help when she escaped, and finally she was arrested by the government. At that time, if a family had about ten thousand RMB to pay the fine, the government would not arrest the women who had more than one child. Moreover, if my father paid the government, my mother didn’t need to suffer the pain of sterilization which was another cruel part of this policy. Nevertheless, the truth was cruel. My father even went to take a look my mother after she sent to the detention center, and she finally got sterilized. As a result, the life of escaping was over, and my mother’s hope for her husband had also ended.

After suffering the days with helplessness from escaping and sterilization, my mother became a strong woman. She started to develop business, and left her ruthless husband who left her alone in the detention center. The reason that made her struggle was because of my sister and me. Today, I still can remember the scene of my mother working until late night and falling asleep on her desk. I never heard my mother complain about how tired she was of working, but I knew she needed to work hard because supporting two kids alone was not easy for a woman. About one year later, my grandfather found my mother and requested her to come back. My grandfather came to ask my mother for help because the family was having economic situation and my father was laid off. Because of her mercy, my mother decided to come back to the family with my sister and me. Finally, my mother’s life became more difficult because she had to support a big family.

            Furthermore, my mother’s business enabled my family to have a better life when we moved to the U.S and to get away from the one child policy. After my mother started her business about 3 years, she earned more money because she found a copartner to expand it. Latter, the business was getting better and better. Even though it was many years ago, my mother is still bitter about the sterilization. Until I was twelve years old, the family planning was still practiced in China. As a result, my mother decided to apply for immigration and move to the USA. I knew it could be extremely hard to start everything again, especially for my mother. However, for my mother, having a better life for her daughters was more important than anything. Today, we are living in USA; my mother is still struggling with her two daughters. She works about eleven hours six days a week, and she has to pay everything for the family. I am not sure whether every woman in my mother’s generation is as strong as my mother, but I am sure my mother is the one of the greatest mothers in the world.

            To conclude, the family planning was the reason that made me lives in a free country, without limitation of births. I wish that one day that the institution of the family planning law will change. Also I hope the traditional Chinese ideology of older generation will change because today there are still many older people that think that having a boy is better than having a girl. Finally, I appreciate everything that my mother did, and thank her for giving birth to me.

History Essay： A Turning Point -Linda

                                                                    

                                                                      A Turning Point

       “Thanks to god for all the things that I have now in the U.S”. This was the phrase my father said all the time. My father always believed that he was a lucky man. In 1994, my father got the chance to work in the U.S, and this changed his entire life, and it has changed the life of our family. In the 1990s, in order to earn more money and have a better life, there was a wave of immigrants who went to the United States in search of employments. Because of the bankruptcy of the company where both my parents worked, it was a hard time for my family at that time. There was no doubt that it must be very hard for a foreigner to make a living in a totally strange country. However, there was nothing that could stop my dad at that time. The firm’s idea of success led my father to decide to go to the U.S. Eventually, he boarded an airplane and flew to the U.S with tears of family members and the best wishes of each of them. To my surprise, the opportunity to move to the U.S also become a turning point of my life. In general, my life became a lot better after my father started working at the U.S. However, the time for our family together was limited and rare. In addition, because of the lack of communication with my father, I lost some important parts of my childhood. 

       During the second year after my father left, my family bought a new apartment in the central area of city. At the time before my father went to the U.S, we lived in a small apartment because of the high price of real estate, just like the most average families that lived in the city, my parents could only afforded a tiny apartment with two small bedrooms in the area that was far away from their work and my school. I remembered how cold it was when I got up early in the winter mornings in order to catch the bus to school. However, everything changed after my father moved to the U.S. About ten years ago, the exchange rate between the U.S and China was 1:10, which was extremely high. The money that my father earned made our life better and better. The new apartment was a lot bigger than the one that we used to live. The most exciting thing for me was my school was just a few blocks away from my home, which mean I just needed a couple of minutes to walk to school. Fortunately, there was no early bird waiting for bus to school anymore.

       On the other hand, since my father made more money than before, our family spent less and less time together. I could only see my father once a year. In the first couple of years, the most exciting thing for my family was Spring Festival, because it was the time for my father to come back home. Every time he came back with variety gifts for each family member, and I was the one that always got the biggest gift from him. Even though there was not plenty of time for our family to get together, I was very pleased with it. At that time my father already filled out the immigration application to the United States Immigration Services for my mother and me. So I always told by my mother that we were going to live together with my father in the U.S in two years. Nevertheless, a terrorist attack destroyed everything. Not only did the September 11^th attack put the whole U.S into a panic, but also it became a nightmare for our family. Because of the attack, the United States Immigration Services set up the new rules that strictly limited for new immigrants. Before 911 happened, the maximum time to process of immigration application was about six months. However, in our case, it took about five years after our application was approved.  

                                      

       In general, five years was not that long if counting in the whole life of a person. However, these five years were considered the loss of the memorable childhood of a little girl. When my father left China to the U.S, I was only six years old. In my memory, my father never came to pick up me after school, attended a meeting with teacher, or watched the show of any celebration that was held by school that I performed in. Most of the time, my mother played the both important role which of father and mother at the same time in my childhood. My mother was the strongest woman that took all the responsibility of taking care of me. Though my mother took good care of me in every moment, I still felt I was alone. I missed my father every time I saw the smiling little girls who were about my age walking on the street, hand in hand with her father. I felt like I lost an important part of my life, which is fatherly companionship. Sometimes, I had many grumbles spoke to my father and I kept asking him about when my mother and I could go to the U.S with him on the phone. To my disappointment, the answers that I always got were ambiguous.

These days, I step on the land of the U.S together with my father, and became a U.S immigrant two years ago. Just like my father, I appreciated that I got a chance to live and to study in the U.S. I think the decision that my father made to came work at the U.S was totally correct. It was a turning point that has made many positive changes of my family.

Momentous Decisions

Momentous Decisions

By Adriana Solis

In Mexico, there have been a lot of economic crises. For as long as I can remember, every six years when in Mexico had change of president, the whole country waits nervously for the currency devaluation, which means the poor get poorer, there is less purchasing power, more job losses and an increase in debt for almost everyone. Those situations have existed for many years, even before I was born. The politicians have not done a good job and many people are always affected. In 1947, my grandparents were some of them. They were really poor when they met and decided get married, but one day they decided to move to Guadalajara looking for better future. This city is the second most important city in Mexico and this movement, was a big change in our whole family’s history.

When I talked with my grandma about the first years of her marriage, she always said “We were really poor, and sometimes we didn't have anything to eat”. This kind of situation made my grandparents look for a better opportunity in a new place. Both my grandparents became orphans when they were children. My grandmother got married with my grandfather when they were around seventeen years old. He was a shoemaker, and she was a housewife. Almost all relatives were poor too, but one day one of their nephews decided to move to Guadalajara, and some months later, when he got basic skills as automotive mechanics and started to work, he was able to bring the whole family with him, including my grandparents.

Once installed in Guadalajara, my grandparents started to work very hard. My grandfather learned about automotive mechanics, and my grandmother washed clothes and made tostadas, a delicious dish in Mexican cuisine. Then, my grandfather started to work with his nephew and got experience. Some months later, he was able to open his own auto repair shop. With all their work and my grandmother as a great administrator, they started another business: a grocery store in their neighborhood. The grocery store became a successful business, and both my grandfathers’ auto repair shop and the grocery run by my grandmother, could provide my grandparents and their children with a better life. Step by step, they were building a different life for themselves.

 

Many years later, I thought it would be good idea to attend college in Guadalajara, but I lived with my parents in Ocotlán, a small town near Guadalajara. This shift needed support and my parents gave me it. We were not rich but we didn´t have big economic problems. My mother was the youngest in her family, and she didn´t live the hardships that my grandparents had lived and my father worked all the time for the same company. Despite this, my grandparents were always a big support when we needed it. So, with my parents’ support and, as a usual, my grandparents’ support too, I was able to study in Guadalajara. Some years later, I graduated from college knowing that largely I owed my education, to the decisions that my grandparents had taken in the past.

In conclusion, my grandparents have always been an example and inspiration of success, and surely this will remain for future generations in my family. One day, with all their fears, they took risks and made decisions that became momentous, establishing a better foundation for all those who were born after them. All the fortune they were seeking and found are still with all my relatives and me, not only as material things but as values and examples of perseverance and commitment. I will be always thankful to them for that.

Oyeneye Oyenike

March 10, 2015

Cause and Effect Essay.

                                                     My New World

         It began like every typical endeavor, but who would have known that this venture would change the fabric of my life and family? On March 25, 2007 in the church that has grown to become my family’s home church, an act was wrought that set the stage for the most tremendous transition of my life. On that memorable day, my father’s ministry was inaugurated “Aquila and Priscilla Help Ministry”. The inauguration service was a memorable one. There were different segments which included an anointing service, worship service, the word and the cutting of the cake. The fame, expectations, and responsibilities that have characterized this transition have had an overwhelming effect on my life and that of my family.

         Foremost, is the fame that accompanied this venture, which was unlike anything my family or I have ever known. Before the advent of the ministry, my family used to be just like a typical middle class family in our community. My father read mass communication and now owns a media consultancy company while my mother owns a boutique and a travel agency. It all started when my dad told us he wanted to go back to school, my siblings and I burst into laughter we could not imagine my dad in a classroom with a lot of young people. My dad later explained that he wanted to go to a theological seminary so he can have a full qualification to start the ministry. Since the ministry is a help ministry it didn’t take long before my family began to have connection with benevolent aristocrats and elites who were willing to be partners of the ministry all over the world. Just recently before I came to the United States my family was given a royal invitation to attend the king of Lagos state’s burial ceremony. It was a party for only the elite of the society. Such incidents highlight the fame my family now knows, and with such fame comes a reputation on which expectations are built.

        Further more were the expectations that influenced our actions as a family, these  were beyond our imagination. I remember going to the salon with my friends on a weekend in Nigeria to have a new hairdo. We began our youthful banter at the top of our voices. To my greatest surprise, a woman just turned and asked me “are you not Aquila & Priscilla 's daughter ?” Apparently, she expected me to be more courteous that I was. Even though I didn’t know her, she knew me well enough to even expect something from me. I went home that day feeling like I had let my parents down. I told my parents the whole story, and they explained to me that the higher the position one attains in life, the higher the expectation of people from the person. Some people in the community expected my family to be a perfect family; we were not expected to have issues or encounter financial problems. The clothes we wore, things we said, how we acted, things we listened to and places we went, decisions we made were usually commented on, it was like we didn’t have a private family life anymore. And with that much attention we, felt the weight of responsibility.

        Finally, Like the saying “with great power comes great responsibility”, with the advent of this change, my family’s responsibility became enormous. While I was growing up, I didn’t have to consider the amount of money my parents spent daily before asking them for money. This was because although they rendered help to the needy before the advent of the ministry, it was not as demanding as the ministry. My parents were responsible for a lot of families’ house rent, up keep, employment, and school fees. That is they had more responsibilities besides taking care of their families. On the other hand my siblings and I also had our share of the responsibility. We had to put other peoples’ needs before our own. Anytime my parents wanted to make a donation, it was always on behalf of the ministry and on behalf of the family. Inadvertently, my siblings and I were learning the intricacies of responsibility.

        It all started like as any other endeavor would but the fame, the expectation, and the responsibilities transformed this venture into something even greater. Who would have imagined that the whims of my dad would brings us all under this spotlight with so many watching eyes. The decision of one man became the grooming of his whole family. But beyond the superficial were deeper familial repercussions of  this endeavor. One such example is that  this venture helped my family become more intimate because my family had to be a model for some of the families in the ministry. The resources used and the resources gained, above all lives have been touched and that fills me with gratification. The process has been laden with very conspicuous undulations , and it’s been all worth the while.

                                          

           

                                                        My New World

         It began like every typical endeavor, but who would have known that this venture would change the fabric of my life and family? On March 25, 2007 in the church that has grown to become my family’s home church, an act was wrought that set the stage for the most tremendous transition of my life. On that memorable day, my father’s ministry was inaugurated “Aquila and Priscilla Help Ministry”. The inauguration service was a memorable one. There were different segments which included an anointing service, worship service, the word and the cutting of the cake. The fame, expectations, and responsibilities that have characterized this transition have had an overwhelming effect on my life and that of my family.

        

              The fame that accompanied this venture, which was unlike anything my family or I had ever known. Before the advent of the ministry, my family used to be just like a typical middle class family in our community. My father read mass communication and now owns a media consultancy company while my mother owns a boutique and a travel agency. It all started when my dad told us he wanted to go back to school, my siblings and I burst into laughter because we could not imagine my dad in a classroom with a lot of young people. My dad later explained that he wanted to go to a theological seminary, so he can have a full qualification to start the ministry. Since the ministry is a help ministry it didn't take long before my family began to have connection with benevolent aristocrats and elites who were willing to be partners of the ministry all over the world. Just recently before I came to the United States, my family was given a royal invitation to attend the king of Lagos state’s burial ceremony. It was a party for only the elite of the society. Such incidents highlight the fame my family now knows, and with such fame comes a reputation on which expectations are built.

            Furthermore, the expectations that influenced our actions as a family, these were beyond our imagination. All of a sudden, people in the community were watching how I behaved. I remember going to the salon with my friends on a weekend in Nigeria to have a new hairdo. We began our youthful banter at the top of our voices. To my greatest surprise, a woman just turned and asked me “are you not Aquila & Priscilla’s daughter?” Apparently, she expected me to be more courteous that I was. Even though I didn't know her, she knew me well enough to even expect something from me. I went home that day feeling like I had let my parents down. I told my parents the whole story, and they explained to me that the higher the position one attains in life, the higher the expectation of people from the person. Some people in the community expected my family to be a perfect family; we were not expected to have issues or encounter financial problems. The clothes we wore, things we said, how we acted, things we listened to and places we went, decisions we made were usually commented on. It was like we didn't have a private family life anymore. And with that much attention we, felt the weight of responsibility.

            Finally, like the saying “with great power comes great responsibility”, with the advent of this change, my family’s responsibility became enormous. While I was growing up, I didn't have to consider the amount of money my parents spent daily before asking them for money. This was because although they rendered help to the needy before the advent of the ministry, it was not as demanding as the ministry. My parents were responsible for a lot of families’ house rent, up keep, employment, and school fees. That is they had more responsibilities besides taking care of their own family. On the other, hand my siblings and I also had our share of the responsibility. We had to put other peoples’ needs before our own. Anytime my parents wanted to make a donation, it was always on behalf of the ministry and on behalf of the family. Inadvertently, my siblings and I were learning the intricacies of responsibility.

            It all started like as any other endeavor would, but the fame, the expectation, and the responsibilities transformed this venture into something even greater. Who would have imagined that the whims of my dad would bring us all under this spotlight with so many watching eyes? The decision of one man became the grooming of his whole family, but beyond the superficial were deeper familial repercussions of this endeavor. One such example is that this venture helped my family become more intimate because my family had to be a model for some of the families in the ministry. The process has been laden with very conspicuous undulations, and it’s been all worth the while.